I was absolutely shocked as the news “brief” turned into a take-over of the radio program I was listening to in the car this afternoon. Good reason to be shocked. They were reporting on the second biggest school shooting in US history and it was an elementary school. I have three kids in a public elementary school. This one hit really close to home. After I was done crying and praying for those families whose loved ones were ripped from their lives today by a madman with four guns, I began to process the entire event.
This tragedy, like so many others before it, are opportunities for the rest of us to recalibrate our lives. Tragedy doesn’t come with a pre-scheduled appointment. Therefore, we must live our lives each day to the full. Here are a few thoughts I had about that.
1. Be reconciled to God. you don’t know when the last moments of life are, so you might not have the opportunity later. Do it now. If you don’t know where you will go when you die (two choices: heaven or hell), or if you had no idea about these things, take a minute to read this. There was a problem that man had: we fell short of God’s standard and no good deeds can make up for even one white lie, for God is perfectly holy. Therefore, God sent his only son, Jesus, who was fully man and fully God, to the earth to live the perfect, sinless life we should have lived and to die the horrible, tortuous death we should die, as a sacrifice in our place. Jesus rose from the dead, having conquered even death, all sin, and every other terrible thing. Because Jesus rose from the dead to eternal life and lives and reigns in heaven, by putting our trust in Him alone as Savior and following Jesus as our Lord, we too may be given eternal life and live forever with Jesus in heaven. If you don’t know Jesus, but want to, just pray now. Tell Jesus you are sorry for everything you did against him and his holiness, ask his forgiveness, acknowledge him as your Lord and Savior and accept his free gift of salvation!
2. Be reconciled to each other. If you have anything against someone else, I beg you today, make amends. And if there are issues in your family, work to resolve them. The apostle Paul tells us to make every attempt to live at peace with one another. Every one of the world’s wars started out with two unreconciled people. Forgiving someone doesn’t make what they did right, but it does release you from the bondage of unforgiveness. Have you ever seen a bitter old person? It is one of the ugliest sights on earth.
3. Tell your family how much they mean to you. Forget about all the stuff. Forget about the to-do list. Take a minute TODAY and tell those you love what they mean to you. Then make it a habit to keep this up. They should get embarrassed by how often you tell them. And the kids should say something like, “Mo-o-om, I know!” (insert know-it-all teenage type vocal patterns). Then you know they won’t question your love as a parent, as the young man who killed his own mother and many of her students in her classroom today clearly did. My prayer is that my kids will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Steve and I love them.
Question: What will be your response to the school shooting today?
While I was out harvesting what will likely be the last of my summer vegetables last week, my mind wandered to what life must have been like when people really lived off the land. There are the obvious differences: no smart phones, online games, rushing about, or hauling kids to four practices in one night! Life was difficult, as providing for one’s family from the land requires hard, manual labor and facing great difficulties. However, life was, in a word, simple. It revolved around family, community and church. People knew their neighbors and helped when they needed it. People were connected and community meant something.
So, how do we find this simplicity in today’s hustle-bustle world? Does it require us all to leave our desk jobs and work the land? I think not. Even more importantly, how do we teach our kids to value family, faith and community? We have to find that path for ourselves, as adults, and then model it or our children. I’ve thought of some basic things that we can all do to simplify life while also improving their involvement in communities.
- Serve the community. Volunteer at a local nonprofit, get involved with outreaches into the community, or serve with your church. Many communities have organizations that funnel volunteers to smaller nonprofits. So, find something you care about and get involved in that. For families with young kids, this can be difficult as many nonprofits do not allow young children to serve with their parents. Here are a few ideas though: walk dogs at the local Humane Society or pet adoption center; collect canned goods from neighbors to give the local food pantry (call first to get their wish list!); collect spare change for an overseas orphanage (my kids are doing this for Joseph School in Haiti); find a less-well traveled road or a park and clean up all the trash; or ask older neighbors if you can rake their leaves. Be creative and do it together. You will make memories and teach important principles to the kids. And remember to celebrate their achievements afterwards with some serious family high-fives. If you want more ideas on this topic, see my blog titled “Serving With Kids.” http://wp.me/p1FAtE-1o
- Live on a budget. Most people have to do this anyway in the last few years because of income issues or job loss, but even those that don’t have to should do it. Why? Living on a budget forces us to make decisions about how we will live each month. Living on a budget makes us set priorities as the adults in the household and helps us all to work together toward a common goal. Set a financial goal for each year and work as a family to achieve it. Maybe the goal will be to repay a certain amount of debt, give a special offering for a favorite ministry, or just put money away for a rainy day or kids’ education. Whatever the goal, keep the kids informed on progress and celebrate as a family when you make it. This also teaches the kids that money is something to be managed and stewarded –and that it doesn’t grow on trees.
- Eat at home whenever possible. Even single people can do this easily with the proliferation of healthy 30-minute meal cookbooks and single-serving recipes available on the internet. And for families, I know what you moms must be thinking, “How can we possibly make dinner with all those activities?” Perhaps, we should examine if the kids really need to be in all those activities – maybe something needs to leave the family schedule? Having dinner together helps kids realize that you care about them. It gives them the perfect time to discuss their day, ask questions about what is going on in the world (or in their world), and helps them know you value them. It also sets up good eating habits for later and helps to fight obesity (home-cooked food is generally less fattening and more healthy than fast food). I have become the master of the 30-minute healthy recipes and I have about ten that I regularly make. The kids have their favorites and they know beyond a shadow of doubt what is healthy and what isn’t. And let me make a quick point about what most of you will need to do first – because it was the first thing I needed to learn also. The most liberating moments in my life have been when I have said “no” to something: either another activity or some commitment. Learning to say no in an appropriate and strategic manner can help us to bring simplicity to our lives.
- Be engaged in your local church or synagogue. Faith communities help cement values for our kids as they see other families living by the same values they see at their house. These communities also give our kids the opportunity to make friends that have those same values and to see the role of the church in the community. When Nashville experienced the flood in 2010, my kids got to see the church in action, serving the community and helping with those who had been flooded. They still talk about it over 18 months later.
- Start a backyard garden or sew some of the kids’ clothes. Not everyone is a gardener, like I am, and I am not a seamstress. That is why Wal-Mart exists in my life. Gardening, sewing, knitting or other types of “home economic” activities helps kids to see that food doesn’t come in a can or plastic container and that clothes aren’t so easy to make either. This helps them appreciate what they have and the effort that went into making it. Teach them how to do what you do also. Those are skills they can enjoy for the rest of their lives, and may come in handy sometime in their lives. Our great great-grandparents probably had no idea that their kids and grandkids would face such a terrible depression in the 1930’s. We cannot possibly know what our kids will have to face either. Teaching them a basic skill like gardening, knitting or sewing might make a huge difference in their lives later and help see them through difficult times.
- Turn off the electronics or at least the TV for a weekend. I know this will be a real shock to some to not have the Blackberry or iPhone constantly buzzing at you. Slowing down our thinking is one of the critical ways of training our minds toward discipline and the constant noise of our culture works in the opposite direction. Our never-ending, in-your-face communication and the prevalent media addiction are breeding an impatient generation. I even caught myself tapping my toes in impatience at the microwave one time. So how am I combating this in my own life? I regularly go on an “electronics fast” – no phone, TV, computer / laptop, or radio. You know what I find? I go to sleep earlier, enjoy a good book or time with the kids, pray, get outside or catch up on household chores. I also find that I am not enslaved to the email, text, or phone communications and that I am more peaceful in my interactions with the kids, even when not practicing this discipline of a fast. It is really liberating. You should try it for a day!
I hope these helped you to find ways to simplify your own lives. Try one and let us know how it impacted in your life. There are many other ways that I have not listed here, so if you have a life-simplifying strategy, please share it.
I am growing in this and find the more I do to simplify, the better I am hearing from God. All the noise and clutter of our lives crowd out the still small voice of the One who knows us best and loves us most. If the only benefit of simplicity in our lives is that we come to know God better, I would say it is worth it.